take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
