Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
tell me about the fingering
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