Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
