Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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