the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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