I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
