they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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