he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
