some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My vagina is officially offended.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
