3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
