She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
