OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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