I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
