I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
