I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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