you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
