i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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