I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize