Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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