Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
