We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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