i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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