There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
