dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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