we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
