Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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