i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
