Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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