The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
