i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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