Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
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just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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