Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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