So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
