So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Come see our sink grown plant.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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