Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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