she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
