You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
