you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Couch. On fire.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize