I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
