It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
