Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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