Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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