Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
