I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
