Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
