she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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