went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
