I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
