Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
