get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
