I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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