i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
