it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
