How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
