If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He better not be in your backpack
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
