two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
