"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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