If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
