Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
