hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
