I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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