i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
