Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
