So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
