I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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